"Dog People", and why they're all Fucked in the Head...

I see you people all over my Cap'l Dizz-trick (yo).  In the park, on the streets, in your cars, sometimes even at the goddam bar.  Your dog dragging you down Lark or Broadway, or you carrying your smaller-than-a-turd pooch in your arms.  Adorable.  Agreeing with all your dog-person friends how much better canines are than humans; how you could never had a relationship with a person like the one you have with your dog.  And yea calm down, we know - your dog is the best behaved, cutest, friendliest dog in the world and it would never attack anybody (because as we all know, family dogs don't attack people).


Honestly, I kind of get it.  People are complex, unpredictable creatures; dogs are obedient and you can train them to sit and shut up and shit outside.  You can completely control a dog, humans will put up a fight and once you think you've got them pegged they'll remind you that you don't know shit.  But if you can't - as a HUMAN BEING yourself - relate to another being, and only to a fucking dog?  You are mentally ill.

Dogs are not people. And dog people are even worse: they're fucking idiots.