What time is it? It's BALLANTINE!! (fuck you, it kinda rhymes...)

Yea, I have my beer geek favorites just like every other asshole.  I even make my own.  But, as my Dad says, "sometimes you just need a Bud". And one of those times is next week, on America's birthday.

Now, my go-to brew when I'm throwin' back the cheap shit is not Crudweiser, but I think the phrase holds up if you insert any lawnmower beer in it's place.  As in, "sometimes, you just need a Genny", or as in the case of my personal preference, "...a Ballantine".  

There is certainly cheaper swill out there, such as the very awesome Mountain Brew (yes I realize it's just Keystone Ice in a different can, just shut the hell up already), the excellent and ruined-forever-by-hipsters PBR, and of course the U.C..  And then there's the seasonal options that you gotta grab; in the spring there's Genny Bock, in the summer the 'Ganssett Summer Ale.  But for year-round cheap booze, there's no beating the 'Tine.

First, the label.  It's "America's Largest Selling Ale", says so right there.  What are you, a commie?  You gonna buy some other shitty country's largest selling ale??  Then there's the Olympics-esque design of  those three interlocking rings.  You can do what I did, and give yourself a medal in a made-up event (I've taken home the gold the last three years in the 12 Ounce Individual Chugging Medley!). 

And if neither of those are doing it for you, you can't resist the mystery of the Rebus puzzles under each bottle cap (drink your Ballantine in the six-pack form pictured above for full effect, I can't vouch for the 40 oz. caps).  See #203 below:

Conclusion:  no other beer can make you say "what the fuck is that?" like Ballantines.  Why aren't you drinking one RIGHT NOW??